My Hope

5 months, 50 pounds, and 3 mental illness diagnoses are what separates the girl on the left from the girl on the right. The girl on the left was able to play softball, workout with her team, manage the stress of school and athletics, and eat while the girl on the right experienced daily panic attacks, exercised on 200 calories a day, and slept a maximum of 4 hours a night. The girl on the right was drowning, fighting to stay afloat and alive. While the mental health care system is supposed to be there to help, it seems like providers and institutions were just kicking me while I was down and unable to provide me with the care, advice, and expertise I needed. My hope in creating this blog is to illustrate how the girl on the right could have been helped prior to this stage, and the warning signs that were missed and the flaws in the mental health care system that failed to give me a lifeline when I so desperately needed one. I hope to share what I have learned, advice on seeking help, and the need for our society and athletics to adapt to the growing issue of mental illness, in particular eating disorders.

I have spent the last ten months holding on to hope. The hope that I would see the light again, find my purpose, and be able to grow and evolve from this experience. It is my goal that the anger and frustration I have felt towards the injustices in the mental health care system throughout this journey will be voiced in this blog while also giving me the chance to give others advice and insight into how I would do it differently if I had the chance. I want to share my story and every little thing that has helped me and changed me on this road to recovery.

Welcome and Happy Sharing!

At any given moment, you have the power to say, “This is not how my story will end.” -Christine Mason Miller

National Suicide Prevention Hotline:

  • Call 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text Line

  • Text 741741

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